So I drafted up a post a while back yonder's ago that was titled "Things you're getting wrong on facebook", I just jotted up a couple key points and when I went to elaborate on one of the topics I realised there was enough subject for individual posts. So I've decided to do some what of a series using these facebook fuck ups (much like the friday phrase, which subsequently had to be shut down once I became re-immune to work site language and now probably say worse fucking things than any cunt) I have gotten pretty deep on one about beards but as yet can't complete because I feel the over sleep has me in far to a pansy a state to really do it justice so I'll just drop the smallest of the lot in this post and hopefully on my up coming break get something a bit bigger and brutal.
Birthday Appreciation Appreciation.
Some people choose not to show the date of their birthday on FB page, I for one am not one of those idiots. I figure if I'm going to have a facebook account I might as well be getting the milk from it's tit otherwise whats the good in the cow that you can't slaughter and eat at the end anyway. There's 2 good things about facebook, the first is using it as a tool to gather information i.e. traveling shit, fixing shit, buy/sell shit, see if someones single and shit... The other is to gloat about things that before facebook/instagram pretty much went completely unnoticed to people that weren't directly in contact with u at the point of happenings. Pre-fbook if you got a really good breakfast with epic looking berries (fuck as I'm writing this I realise that pre social media I don't remember food looking so cool or even cafes looking cool, I definitely don't think people were going to coachella and if so there wasn't massive useless spacemen and shit there, fuck social media just mad everything 100 times more cosmetic slash probably expencive...) anyway back from that epiphany, yeah if you had one of this things no one cared in the slightest, you didn't care, why should you- the berries, granola and swirled bush honey from Istanbul would soon be ingested and after your body took all the good things if you were male, it would pass out as poo... not really worth sharing to other people (females I don't know how that stuff leaves your body or if that's what in the end makes babies...). Now days though, we gloat and gloat and goat (did that on purpose gloat and goat so close but so far) about anything we think might warrant a "like" and when we get it we are so pumped.... pumped someone took the time to click once on there mouse or more likely in this day and age track pad on a love heart or thumbs up and approve our gloating.
This is what brings me to my birthday subject, when your yearly birth anniversary rolls round and everyone does the little post on ya page and ya feel good, and you should feel good it does feel good but when that happens it should be kept that way. Just you feeling good. When people have written their little diddy on your page they've already seen that you are getting a lot of diddies, in some case diddie on diddies on diddies. So when this has happened there is no need for you to boast that you felt the love from everyone so that people, incase they hadn't noticed it was your birthday would then too diddy or if they hadn't seen you got 25 people up in your birthday ass and you're proud as punch about it, they would in tern now know... cause lets break it down for just a second, if the average keyboard key strike depth is 0.8 mm and we are rounding it up to 1mm for ease of explanation and the average diddy is 3 ta 40 characters long, 3 being the most caring HBD with this maths the average diddy is 21.5 mm of key striking, so about a $2 coins diameter of finger movement is exerted in the general well wish. Now, does that kind of input really show love of any manner? There is more physical and mental out put used in picking a booger and you want to put a message out there to everyone that less than picked a booger for you that you appreciate their love and it means a lot. Howz about next time its your birthday, if you have to write anything to the masses try something along the lines of "hey mother fuckers instead of picking your nose how about you pick me up a pair of those new nikes Yeezus realised so I've got something good to gloat about".
