I recently had a bit of an adventure for my 9 days off. I'm going to post a days details a day.....a day. Once they are all written I'll re-post it as a complete post.
Monday 25th july. DAY 1
5am, I wake up to the sounds of reverend Tyler Lopez, a half black half latino, blatino chistian precher. My South african room mate has the preachings on so loud that I wonder if there is a metaphor or simile that would describe how loud the TV is….. but it was too loud and I couldn't think.
6am, After a little breakfast at the mess hall I return to my room. Safa is still hard out listening to this preacher, regardless of the fact that he is openly racist, he seems genuinely interested in it. SSSSSIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEENNNNNN the fire alarm sounds and everybody staying in blocks D and E converge on the car park to be marked off. I'm in tight jeans and get 16 nice jean calls in total. A couple of Irish lads tell me "you loocky count" in regards to my flying out today and then I return to my room to finish packing.
8am, walking to catch the bus I run into my mate maggie the pirate, he is a magpie who only has one leg. I pay homage to him buy pledging to spend the next five minutes hoping around on one leg…. I lasted 15 seconds and the whole escapade had me respecting him even more than before.
10am, I'm on the plane. I've done my fair share of flying in the last 12 months, from this i have acquired a couple of DO'S for flying.
- When they say, for taking off and landing all electronic devices should be turned off don't turn your phone off at all just put it to flight mode, although you cant really do anything with a flight moded phone it gives you that rebellious feeling you got the first time you stole a lolly from a shop….. Wynona type shit.
-Don't recline your chair straight away. This is a rookie error, wait till you want to sleep. Actually up until that point make yourself as uncomfortable as possible, believe me when you recline and get comfy, it will be a comfort previously only experienced in a sealy postra……
-Always go to the toilet while everyone lines up for the first boarding call. It will help in spending time in the line feeling like a douche for standing up and waiting in a spot where you can see the spot u were just comfortably sitting and you wont have to go through the torment of needing to piss in the 10 minutes from when the seatbelt sign comes on a turns off.
-This one isn't advice it's just something I do. Every plane meal i get i eat the biggest to the smallest thing on the plate(this includes the little milk thing and any other liquids) this way I use the packaging in a russian doll kind of way, stacking e'erything inside itself. The plus is it becomes very stable and you wont have rubish floating around. I did this today and wondered if this is where the human race got their plan of action towards what gets eaten when…. cause as it would be eating in this manner is pretty much spot on to the general rule of thumb…… main-desert-drink-----
11am, Touch down in perth. The plane is full with FIFO workers who fly at least 2 flights a month, yet for some reason some fucking douche packer stands up before the seatbelt sign has dimmed as if he is to important to wait… as always the attendant asks him to sit and wait for the light to go off.. he obliges and looks like a cock…. that momentarily pissed me off
12pm, Slide back to my old pad in Como to pick up some things i had left there last time i moved out. While I waited for Jack and his snookypoo to go to her house to get a key to the house Jake rocked up and we talked shit as per…. he tried to steal my shoes than had me feeling pretty okay about going half and half with him.. shoes wise….. than it looked shit so he just drpped me back at the airport.
4pm, I'm sitting in qantas club waiting for my flight back to brisbane. I'm new to the club so i feel the need every few minutes to yell words like NASDAQ or BUY into my phone to fit in with the general suit clad army up in here.
5pm-11pm, I watch the sunset over a blanket of clouds out the window of the plane, I'm listening to M83, so the whole experience was that mush(thats a spelling mistake for much but i think it works better) more enjoyable. Post watching this sunset I started to read Cats Cradle By Kurt Vonnegut, 4 hours later I satisfyingly turned the final page, sore eyed, chuffed and inspired M83 still played and I looked t'ward the future like some form of sudo-philosopher. That book is filled with quote gold……
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
I'm a devote Bokononist now, which is, in the true sense of Bokonism a complete lie.
My mining home.
The M83 sunset.
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